HEA Group

Hello, its been a long time since I'm up, so let me introduce some new people in my phase of life. 

I graduated from a government high school, so I felt really uncomfortable stepping into a so Chinese-based college (because of financial problems you know). The first day there for orientation, everyone seriously do speak in Chinese like wow, because I've never been to a place like that except for Chinese society's event. Eventually I'm not in the same class with my friend.

So I got to meet new friends in my class, everyone's different and different. Its a totally new environment for me. I wasn't as quiet as I used to be, to be more outspoken, yeah it failed somehow ((laughs. 

Anyhow I got to know a bunch of new friends, and that's what the title said "HEA group", it a gang name (lol). HEA is like procrastinating work for play in a dialect of Chinese (I also don't know). There's a total of 8 members including me where 5 are male, and 3 are female. 

The first one is so called "JB". He is tall, huge. Come from a big family and a Chinese High School, funny type but sometimes annoyingly funny, and a "bt" who always makes dirty jokes. Then a "Jhn", a very faithful Christian who doesn't know English at all, couldn't listen to people well, always need to repeat things to him, but he's a caring person. "Nic", a funny narcissist, who claimed to be a puppy, and nicknames are "Maggi", "Lil Flower" etc and always spend more on the beginning of the month then struggles during the end of the month. "Darr" a overly skinny boy who held his pride high even if he's not good, but he loves and is talented in accounting, and also a game-addict. "Zk" the best looking one among the males, overall fit, not really smart in studies because of the lacking of common sense, a funny "bt" and always smiling and laughing and a cat-addict. "Wx" a tall girl with big specs, athletic, claimed to have no talent but is talented af especially in singing and also a "EXO-L" which is the totally opposite of mine, "Feli" a short and pretty girl, very faithful to her boyfriend and loves to spend money somehow, and mature. 

Yess, I always spent time with these 7 people in college, study, rushing assignments, tests, exams, having fun and procrastinating etc. 

Hope to explore more of them and know them more in depth. Years to go with them :)

Why is there an increase in depression in Malaysia?

Nowadays, depression is a common mental illness in the community. A research has proved that there's a rapid increase in depression in these few years in Malaysia. Stress from work or school, bullying and also having low self-esteem in the community will lead to depression. A serious depression can cause death, therefore we are here to discuss about the reasons that causes an increase in depression. 

Stress from work or school is one of the main reason why depression has increase rapidly in the county. The world is changing in a fast pace, so we have to adapt quickly to the changes, but we get stressed out if we couldn't catch up with the pace. We are pressured by our boss in work especially in critical situation. When parents and teachers have high expectation, it will gives loads of pressure to a student. That particular student will tend to overwork and be hard on themselves. It will eventually lead to depression. There are also cases where teenagers or adults commits suicide due to depression. Over-stressing individual became depressed as they thought of nothing but work and problems faced. Hence, stress can lead to depression.

Moreover, depression can be cause by bullying. Bullying has become a serious problem in the society. Bullying can cause damage to one's mental health, no matter if it's in any form of bullying. The current issue where a student died of bullying is a form of physical bully. Yet, cyber-bully is the main reason of leading people into depression. Cyber bully is done through the internet and social media. People bully one by attacking them with words. For example, people are body-shaming on a girl through Instagram, this could lead the girl into depression for overthinking. There are many cases out there about artists, singers or TV personalities getting depression, where is all caused by cyber-bullying. The most recent one is the death of Chester Bennington from Linkin Park, he was said to be committing suicide because of cyber bully which lead him into depression. An action of a celebrity will always get attention from the public, and the public especially those netizens who always leave comments on celebrities' social media sites. Some people who are very sensitive and don't know how to handle critism will get depressed. Thus, cyber-bully has to put on a stop in order to get rid of depression in the society.

People who have low self-esteem are tend to fall into depression. They are usually not confidence in themselves. Sometimes this kind of people will act happily like nothing ever happen infront of the public even if he or she is facing a serious problem. They may be the happy pills to the others but they might be sad inside. Depression comes when situation like that happened. They have no one to talk to or we can that they keep everything to themselves. Loneliness always strike to people who have low self-esteem, they feel lonely even if they are with a bunch of friends. When others critise them for one particular small matter, they tend to overthink and this causes depression. For example, Robin William, a famous British actor and comedian die due to depression. He is always smiling and being positive in front of TV shows, but he actually has been diagnosed with depression. People with low self-esteem shows no symptoms, therefore it is also a critical reason that lead to depression. 

As a conclusion, depression can be caused by stress, bullying and having low self-esteem. With the increasing rate of depression in the community, people should find ways to avoid depression as it could lead to death if its severe.

College Life

I enrolled into Tunku Abdul Rahman University College in it's May intake. I just finished my Semester 1 and now a new starting in Semester 2.

In Semester 1, I met new friends through orientation activities and also my classmates. We formed a gang of 8 person called HEA. I had fun throughout the 14 weeks with them. Assignments and revisions and examinations together. I get closer to them after working together in an assignment.

But really have to choose the right teammates in doing assignment. For example, I formed a group with 4 other girls in Management assignment. Each of us were assigned to do one part of the assignment. As we had mid-term test on-going during that period, I request them to send in their parts before Monday on the week we should submit our assignment. Even though N passed in earlier, but what she did was wrong. And the others send in late like one day before the due date. All of them did the wrong thing. And S tried so hard to prove that she is good in English by using all vocabulary but she used it wrongly. I had to fixed all that in one night. What I thought was "I didn't have time for them to resubmit the wrong thing to me in such a short timing". I didn't get to sleep while I rush to finish everything. On that day morning, I went to school earlier to finish the touch up and print it out and also to do my individual assignment. I barely had enough time to finish it before the tutorial class. Few weeks later, our tutor gave us feedback that she wasn't quite pleased with our performance in the assignment, so I was worried. When we got back our marked assignment, I was shocked to see the result, it was the worst result I could ever get. I checked again and ask tutor because I'm quite confident in some part. In the end, my tutor said she gave marks wrongly as she forgot to multiply our marks, because she thought we did it above average and we deserve more. And H got happy because her part got highest mark, and I was like "what the hell" all of you didn't do anything, you're just a free rider who got my marks for free. I did all that work. Do you think with that work of yours are able to obtain the highest marks in class? Even so I got the highest mark for individual assignment, I'm not satisfied with my performance, because I know I could do better if someone was there to help me since it's a so called "group assignment". And I swear I will never be in the same group with them anymore.

Many are envious as I got high marks, but if it's not satisfying, it's not good enough. So you don't have to envy, you just have to work hard.

Before the final exam, I revised with my friends almost everyday after class in the library and taught them literally everything. I'm quite stress as I need to teach my friends and do my own revision because I needed to get CGPA4.0 to secure my scholarship. I got lost for a few times and confused and felt annoyed, but I managed it.

I need no luck if I have faith and hardwork even if its worrisome. 

The result came out on the last week of my semester break. I look at it and "yess, I knew I nailed it". I successfully obtained CGPA4.0 and passed my cocu-contemp. dance. But I was a bit disappointed at my friends result as some of them didn't obtain full pass. I didn't show it, but yeah that's how I felt. But at least I secure my scholarship. Attending concert is the best reward for myself.

Now, its a new a start in semester break. The subjects are different, the timetable is so shitty. And I was forced to live in school dorm which the environment couldn't get any worst. I'm sure that I will move out asap. I need to improve my English as my English got so poor after enrolling in this all-Chinese-environment, so not comfortable.

Next, I was elected to become assistant project manager in civic consciousness and volunteerism coursework project. I don't even know if I had time for that. I have 2 competitions coming up, another fundraising program next week, and also having class outside. If I would like to fight for it, you never have chance, that's what I used to said and I remain my stand. Hope everything goes well this semester.

Yours sincerely,
Airen.

WINNER-REALLY REALLY Dance Cover

WINNER-REALLY REALLY Dance Cover

Annual First Outing of the Year (2017)

#20170117
#20170118

Every year's first outing with my friends would be celebrating one of my friend's birthday which falls on 18th of January. Even after graduating, we still did the same.

We planned it about one week earlier. Since I had started working, I can only attend during dinner time. So as everyone agreed, we will have dinner together on the day before her actual birthday at VCR, a cafe at Jalan Galloway, Hang Tuah, KL.

I finished my work at 4pm and rushed home. It was raining, so I had to use umbrella to prevent soaking myself. I quickly bath and clean up myself after I reached home. I made a "name bracelet" as her birthday present. I changed into clothes I prepared earlier yesterday night. I quickly rushed out again and it's still raining and I realized I was wearing slippers and turned back to change to my sport shoes. Since it was raining moderately and I have no time to waste, I took a taxi to get to Sungai Long bus stop to board on a bus to KL.

I sit in the bus for almost 2 hours, where I forgot about the variables: raining and traffic jam. I stopped at Chan Sow Lin and take LRT to Hang Tuah station. As soon as I reached Hang Tuah, one of my friend called me and asked where am I. I was walking to VCR cafe in about 350 metres. We originally planned to meet at 6.30pm but I was late and reached there over 7pm. Everyone was there sitting and chatting when I reached. One of my friend asked if I came back from dancing based on my wearing haha, pretty much like that, I hope.

We ordered food and talked. We sang birthday's song and enjoyed our dinner. As some of us had to go home earlier, we halted and took a group picture together then solo or unit picture with birthday girl. There was about 16 of us included her boyfriend. In the most end, left the original 10 of us, excluded her boyfriend. I realized every time after everything, the 10 of us will be staying till the end together. I loved it like that.

After everything, we walked back to LRT statiion together and took different line back to our own home. I bid goodbye with them and rushed into the train to get in time to take bus home. It's another 1 and a half hour. It's fun after all.

Thank you for everything and planning this outing, hoping for more to come. Love y'all.

Sincerely,
ebay

New Year's New Introduction

*Photo will be uploaded soon since I'm not really a photogenic person nor a person who like to selfie*

My name hasn't change 😂😂
Last year of teenage
Birthday: 29/07/19xx
Hometown: Malaysia
Horoscope: Leo (I just want to mention it haha)
Language: Chinese, English, Malay, Cantonese, trying hard to learn Korean 😊😊😊
Hobbies: Reading, dancing, drawing, listen to music and watch dramas or movies

I eat various kind of food and willing to try foods that are new to me, specially like ice-cream and french-fries, definitely dislike mint, still learning to eat spicy food after 5 years of trying. I don't drink cold mineral water, but drink all kind of cold beverages, specially like Milo, a branded chocolate drink in Malaysia, definitely dislike coffee and tea. I love books, my favourite book series are The Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, The Maze Runner and Shadowhunter Chronicles. I try my best to treat all my belongings equally nice, they're my companions for life. I love BIGBANG, a Korean based boy group, they are in the category of artists, musicians, not idols. They somehow saved my life, that's why I love them and willing to spend my lifetime loving them. I've always wanted to travel around the world like most of the people dream of, Iceland and Vienna are the places I really want to travel to. I would like to travel to Korea too, to look for YGE building haha.

I've friends, and they're like my family, I can rely on them. They're the ones I always thought of.  I have 5 faces: 1 for strangers, 1 for people I know but not so close, 1 for close friends, 1 for family and 1 for myself. I suspected myself for having depression in my earlier teenage years, but I think I got over it. Recently started to work, my 'bosses' are really good to me so I'm grateful, but life is as boring as ever, life as students are more fun. I still don't know yet if I'm going to continue my study, it's really some confusing decision to make, I'll go into it later in some other posts. Learning to drive too.

Nothing much has change I guess, just that I don't have to wear school uniform to school, which is a sad fact. Anyway music, especially BIGBANG's one heals me. I don't like to do anything when I'm angry because it ruins mood and I feel unfair to my belongings, because I might be hurting them.

Okay, that's all for now, goodnight and sweet dream from 9.57pm here.

2017

Happy new year, happy 2017!!!
Have a great year ahead :)

Went to Zombie Run event on the new year eve with friends, but it's not really worth it. Wasted money to join the event for queueing up, dirtying clothes and getting them ripped, getting nasty make up, waiting for hours and hours, no water or food provided, getting myself hurt during the run which was delayed... quite a headstart for the new year, thanks to organizer Monkey Theory. The only thing I'm satisfied in the event is the music dj. He did a really good job on getting the crowd hyped, even though sometimes it's annoying that we can't really listen to what happened. And he played my favourite band's songs, which is BIGBANG's songs. The only thing I enjoyed is the songs and the waiting time with my friends where we danced crazily.

Later I rushed to my friend's house for actual countdown. We reached at 11.59pm, 31/12/2016, and we countdown together for that 1 minute outside his house. I bathed there, and I guess I broke my own record for the longest time used for bathing, which I used up almost 1 hour to clean myself from the nasty make up. Since we hadn't eat our dinner, my friend and his brother went out to "mamak" to take away food for us. That's also my first time eating a double-maggi-goreng. That night, the four of us slept together without disturbing some couple.

The next morning, we had breakfast with his family. At that moment, I realized that he truly come from a rich family. And that's my first time experiencing a life of a rich family. It's really good to be rich. Despite being rich, his 2 elder brothers and him are filial to his parents and grandparents, their family bond is strong too. I admitted that I envy it much.

Everything was fine? I'm not sure though. But I hope everyone is fine and healthy. Enjoy life. I hope I'm able to keep on updating this blog of mine. And I will probably change the web link too.

Last but not least, I have something to confess in the start of the year:

It's 2017, I'm still and always will be a BIGBANG's VIP